Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Some Thoughts on Growing Up...

As the parent of "adult" children, I am daily faced with the challenge of balancing the level of involvement I have in their lives. How much is too much? Do I help them and "save" them every time they have a crisis, or is it better to let them "sink or swim" on their own? Rich and I both struggle with this, but as the mom it's I who struggle the most. It was so much more clear-cut when they were young. Now their problems are bigger, the potential consequences are much more serious, and I just don't know what to do sometimes. Every day it's a new challenge, problem, or issue with one or both of my children, sometimes large, and sometimes small, and sometimes HUGE. I find myself on my knees in prayer a lot. I worry a lot. I pull my hair out a lot. But even more than these things, I love my children and am so very concerned for their happiness and success in life. So to you young mothers out there: if you think that changing diapers and dealing with colic in the night is difficult, just wait until they're in their twenties and not living with you anymore... that's when the real fun begins! A mother's work is never done?? Indeed. (photo: Stephanie & David, circa 1998)

"When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable."  —Madeline L'Engle

"Our adult children have an adult's right to make their own choices and have the responsibility of living with the consequences. If we make their problems ours, they avoid that responsibility, and we are faced with problems we can't and shoudn't solve."  —Jane Adams  

"Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home."  —Bill Cosby